whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
