Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
