Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
