I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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