Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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