Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
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