Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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