Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
