I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
