Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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