What a fucking waste of an outfit
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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