i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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