so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I could fuck to npr.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
