..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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