I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
