Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
