As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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