well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
