the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
false alarm, still single
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