he puts the penis in happiness.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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