You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
