Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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