I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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