Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
There's a naked man in my car right now.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Randomize
