I got chris browned last night
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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