i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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