If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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