yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize