so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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