We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize