So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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