I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
