Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
