wakey wakey hands off snakey
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
