i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
