We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
