I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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