And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
