Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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