do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
