hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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