im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
