I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
