How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
