he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
