No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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