Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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