Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
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