My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Randomize
