I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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