Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
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