Im at strip club and am horny
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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