How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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