there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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