they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
