It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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