Pappa wants mamma naked
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
