sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
