I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
