hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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