Umm I'm too high to move.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
