you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
