The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
