nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
