So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
