I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
