It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
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