You really coming over, don't trick.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
