no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
