Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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