My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
