I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
