Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
